Children of divorce
Our culture is one that is marked, and often defined, by the problem of divorce and broken families. Even within the Church the rate of divorce is nearly identical to the rate for non-believers. As a result, anyone involved in ministry needs to be sensitive to the effects divorce has on both believers and non-believers alike.
For decades we have been offered a variety of books aimed at taking away the stigma of divorce by helping those in broken marriages have “good divorces.” But according to researcher Elizabeth Marquardt there is no such thing as a “good” divorce. A child of divorce herself, Marquardt offers her important findings in Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce (Crown Publishers, 2005, ISBN-13: 978-0-307-23710-4). She acknowledges that while some divorces may be justified or even necessary, there are always negative consequences for the children caught in the middle. Even the most amicable of divorces, where the parents remain friends, takes a toll on the kids. She points out that broken homes often leave the children feeling as if they are divided—with separate identities for each parent.
While the book is not written from an Evangelical Christian perspective, it does offer some significant findings regarding the relationship between divorce and faith. Marquardt notes that children of divorce are often conflicted as they try to make sense of morality and values in their own lives. There is also a profound effect on their relationships with God and the church.
If you minister to teens this is an important book for gaining greater insight into the lives of those who are impacted by divorce, allowing you to find ministry touchpoints and meet them where they are with the intent of drawing them closer to God.
—Ken Mueller
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©2006, The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding