Over the course of my lifetime, the game of football has changed. . . a lot. . in ways that mirror the shift in culture. Consider how a touchdown, first-down, or completed pass were celebrated in years past. . . or more accurately, not celebrated. The contrast between the past and the present is marked, as players now dance, boast, and posture in ways that scream, “Hey! Look at me and what I just did!”
Historically, vainglory has been seen as a vice to avoid and overcome. In her book Glittering Vices, Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung defines vainglory as “the excessive and disordered desire for recognition and approval from others.” It’s that inward driving desire for public acknowledgement of our person and our accomplishments. Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve seen the “game of life” change. . . a lot. In today’s world, social media has combined with our commitment to individualism and worship of celebrity-status to feed the beast of vainglory, turning what was once a vice into what we now believe is a noble pursuit.
How have you seen vainglory and the tendency to lie to seem better than we are evidenced in your own life and the lives of your kids? Here are two specifics:
First, there is the tendency to fabricate and present ourselves to the watching world in ways that draw attention to ourselves. In our worship of youthfulness and appearance, our dissatisfaction with ourselves and our desire for acceptance result in our efforts to photoshop ourselves both visually and textually on social media. We work hard to look good to others and position ourselves as better than others.
Second, there is the tendency towards “virtue signaling”, where we (or our kids) do something good and then tell the world with the expectation that others will notice and like what we’ve done. Sometimes the motivation to do good is itself rooted in vainglory.
As Christian parents, we are called and commissioned with the great responsibility to raise children who desire to bring glory to God, rather than idolatrous glory to self. Here are three steps you can employ to lead your kids and yourself in that God-honoring direction.
First, focus on the Scriptures to gain a clear understanding of what it means to focus glory on God rather than on self. Consider what it means to avoid “practicing your piety in order to be seen” and praised by others (Matthew 6:1-8).
Second, pray for a God-centered focus and life. Specifically pray that God would do whatever it takes. . .even suffering if necessary. . . to break you and your kids out of the habits and patterns of self-worship and vainglory in order to experience the joy of a life centered on giving glory to God alone.
And third, follow the advice of DeYoung where she suggests moving from a life of spin to a life of silence. If we decide to move off of the stage of social media we can experience the joy of audience-free solitude, which is a place where we can see the Lord and hear His voice, which brings relief from our vainglorious desires for attention and approval from others.