Our Kids’ Mistakes and Our Shame

Remember what used to happen to the teenage girl from the Christian family who got pregnant? Maybe you don’t, because you never heard in the first place that the girl was even pregnant. She just disappeared. . . usually halfway across the country to Aunt Martha’s farm. Then, a year or two later, she’d reappear and life would go on as if nothing happened. That’s the way it used to be in the church when a family was in crisis. If other people found out, a family was surrounded by judgment rather than grace. We deal with the fallout of that way of life when we find ourselves in crisis and our first thought is “What will other people think??” or “Who knows??” Consequently, we do all we can to cover up the crisis, deal with it quietly, and move on. But that’s a horrible way to live and it’s not the least bit helpful to our kids. It exposes the idolatry of our own hearts, sending the message that we’re more concerned about what other people think of us, than the well-being of our kids.