I thought about these things once again late last week as I finished up William Struthers’ book Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain. In his chapter on “Rewiring and Sanctification,” Struthers writes these words that apply to all types of sin and what we do with it. . .
“Many men confess if they are caught, but they may not be repentant. They may feel guilty, but they may not be truly repentant. The measure by which a man can recover from a pornography problem is equal to his willingness to do the things that evidence repentance. If he tries to minimize, normalize, justify, or rationalize, true healing will be slow and unlikely. He must be completely broken, as King David was when confronted by the prophet Nathan (2 Sam 12) in order to be restored. The consequences may not disappear, but he must be prepared to live with them and do what is necessary to make amends. It is essential that a man come to a true place of brokenness on this path. If he does not acknowledge hi need for God, it is difficult for him to make any lasting progress in his recovery.”
That’s worth thinking about.
I love the quote from WIlliam Struthers book. So true. I am the wife of a man who struggled with pornography and the absolute pain a spouse feels after it all. It took years. My husband first marginalized what he did, made excuses so change didn’t happen for years. Our oldest son had cancer, if it weren’t for that I would have left. But years later, he has seen his sin and fully acknowledged the pain he caused. He is truly repentent. Because of his true repentence I have stayed and we are just now experiencing healing. I will say forgiveness is from God, and only God can help you forgive someone who has hurt you this way. May God help these victims, if true, forgive because forgiveness is the only way they will really be able to move on.